You and Your Daddy Issues

Daddy issues are like secrets, everybody’s got them, and almost no one likes to talk about them. They arise out of a lapse, perversion, or total non-existence of a relationship between a father and his offspring. You’ve heard it said that a loose girl who dates or marries a sugar daddy (old, pot-bellied aristocrat) is merely venting her latent daddy issues. And that a boy or a man who is constantly seeking the love and approval of his peers is due to the insufficiency of the same from his dad.  Psychologically speaking, this is all true, spiritually speaking, you haven’t even scratched the surface yet. But before we get all deep and serious, let’s look at a brief history of Dads shall we?



Dads arose out of a need for balance. The woman progenitor nurtured, salved her offspring in a safe, comforting place called home. The male progenitor however, accoutered the offspring, provided him with the tools to survive out there in the wild. The offspring ran to the mother for warmth, but looked to the father for consuming fires (….wait, the words are starting to get away from me here.) In essence Dads offered a sense of protection, a sense of belonging, the woman was home, and the man anchored the home. But then, something happened. Big Daddy Adam went and accidentally added chemical X to the mix and thus the power puff parenting was born. Strength became aggression, reverence became fear, and in extreme worst case scenarios, fatherhood became abandonment. Dads became the snarling, unfeeling, dictators that some of them are today, and like everything else that’s wrong with the world you can blame it on the great big fall.

But the worst part of it all was God Himself. The Father of all creation. God went from planting utopian gardens and taking long strolls in the park, to flaming swords of fire and extinction level floods. I mean sure, every now and then He still wore his heart on his sleeves, but for the most part Old Testament God was mean like no Ef/Efx could ever solve, so mean that this seemingly disparaging statements of mine would’ve earned a thunder strike just now, but this isn’t the old testament, and God knows I’m merely expounding (Don’t you Daddy?) Daddy.  That was the name Jesus came to introduce to us, Daddy. You see, prophets came and prophets left, and God revealed himself to them in various ways. ElJireh (Lord provider), Jehovah Raah (The Lord our Shepherd), Elyon (Lord most high), Elohim (God altogether), but such titles while apt, only drew us further and further away from God, He was all these great and majestic things and we were a small and broken people, in no way living up to His standards till enter Jesus. Jesus came and introduced us to Abba Father (Daddy God!) He let us know that yes God is almighty, yes He is the Most High, but at the same time this great and powerful and truly perfect God is also our Daddy! (Not father, because father is cold and impersonal, Daddy, because Dad, that’s the real deal, that’s intimate relationship right there.)




Now this is not to say, Daddy doesn’t discipline us, the best dads do. He was the very one who proscribed spare the rod and spoil the child, but brethren, allow me to disabuse your minds. God is not angry with you, He’s never angry with you, He exhausted all of His anger on Jesus that day on the cross. All the pick pins, and ride Okadas, and kneeling down you were supposed to do for being a naughty little child, Christ has done it all, so stop trying to punish yourself on behalf of a Dad that isn’t displeased with you. As for sin, that pesky sin that so easily entangleth, what do you do when you’re having a challenge? You run to Daddy’s strong arms of course. He wants to know all about it, not because He enjoys it, but because He needs you to know that He understands, and that when He says stop it, GHe’s saying it for your own good, because He loves you and He believes in you (that you can be better), like you believe in him (that He is the very best). If you’re unable to talk to your biological fathers about it (your Pastors, your parents, your seniors in the faith) you should certainly talk to God about it, He’s the one with all the answers anyway. God should be the one who knows the things about you that would make your Christian friends go “ew”. He’s the only one worthy of judging you, and He has decided not to. In the end ladies and gentlemen, overcoming sin will never be about how much you are afraid of punishment, it would be about how much you love Him who loves your more than every other.




As for your physical daddy issues, what can you do? It’s a fallen world remember and they’re subject to it too. As for those who have physical fathers fathered by the Lord, pray for them that they continue in the way, for those who don’t, pray for them that they find the way. Do not be overcome by wrath, or rebellion. Your biological fathers are responsible for you, but even more so you’re responsible for your new, regenerated self. You are born not of flesh and blood, not of sex, but of the spirit,  so like a perfect Jesus came out of an imperfect Joseph, get your act together, get over your daddy issues (physical or spiritual) and do what you were put here for, thrive! Galatians 4:6 "And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!" "