Facing Down Death

I am tempted to tell my story but maybe some other time. What I will do however, is share the lessons I have learned through this experience. I am a Christ-Centred boy, so excuse me if I allude to God every time. This is not another religious rambling but this is me telling another, how not to give up even when it doesn’t make sense.

I consider myself as someone who is very logical and theoretical, I believe that everything makes sense if we dare question it (them). I have never been part of the bandwagon that says “what will be, will be”, well I honestly believe we are responsible for our lives and actions are what create consequences. I believe in the finished work of Christ, hence my salvation is eternal (That again will be something we should talk about over a few plates of rice and beans).
I cannot begin to tell how I felt when I heard the doctor say “Sir, it's terminal, there is relatively no known cure except an open heart surgery, we have procedures that can help ease the pain but nothing is permanent”. I could swear his (doctor) voice faded into a hollow whisper and I could feel my body trembling, and I had no idea how I walked out of the office and drove home.

Here I was, my life fading before my eyes and I had no logical explanation for what was happening, so I locked myself up in my room for two weeks, didn’t go to work, just ate and slept and didn’t even dare ask God, why? I was just blank. I became my own enemy (caveat: I am not afraid to ask God, why, I do believe that our faith grows when we dare to ask, God provides answers every time we ask and that answer is not “IT IS WELL”. God does not speak “christianese”)

Life has uncertain moments, what I believe happens when we face adversity, is that there is a fight for our joy, a hidden battle for that which we hope for, so if a situation can steal our joy then it can steal our peace, and when peace is stolen, our faith is ultimately shaken. Hence the psalmist wrote, “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I”. You cannot fight from a position of defeat, no, you fight from a standpoint of victory, that's how battles are over turned, the fact that you are losing doesn’t translate to the fact that you are defeated, no. If your spirit accepts defeat, your mind will believe it and your life will show it.

So, I decided I was going to live life despite the reports, I read the wise King Solomon said, “a man’s spirit will bear him up in infirmities”, He also said  “laughter doeth good like medicine” So the idea was to know that if I can live every day with intent then I will find fulfilment in whatever I do.

Yes, we don’t always have control over the circumstances of life but we have control over how we choose to respond to these circumstances, Will life always be good? No. Will there be bad times? Definitely. Will there be good times? Most certainly. Will God leave us stranded? Never.

My anchor in Life has always been, the famous letter Paul wrote to the “Romans” when He said “And we know that all things work together for the good of them who love God and are the called according to purpose. God ultimately has it all worked out. Hence i believe that our greatest asset is our ability to trust God.
Even as I write this, I still have uncertain moments, but here is a secret; no matter what you go through be good to people, reach out, go out of your way and sow seeds of kindness. Surround yourself with people who give you reason to live, to leap, to dance, to sing, to shout. Life is not designed to last forever, hence our time is limited. Live with intent, run with grace.

You are loved with an everlasting love!!!!!!!

See you some other time.

By,

Ewomaviri.