SCANDALS

So no matter how much of a saint you are, it's very likely you're a thin strip of ice away from some cold, inundating scandal. And why? Because that year, when you were in sin, chucking up the deuces to the good old Lord, skeletons were in fashion. Skeletons were in your closet and even now that old things are passed away, skeletons are still in fashion, they're still in our closets, only smaller, less fleshy ones, but they're even worse now, all bloodied, dripping red over your pure white goody two shoes, leaving scarlet imprints on your flowing gown of sainthood, and you know it's only a matter of time before everybody finds out, because there is nothing as conspicuous as a hypocrite.

Scandal is a show on the ABC channel featuring Kerry Washington and based partially on   former George H.W. Bush administration press aide Judy Smith (I've been reading wikipedia) which my mother loves to watch, that year at least. I wasn't too intrigued by it, but I watched enough episodes to know that the female protagonist was some kind of fixer, capable of making even the most stealing candy from a baby situations politically correct. She was ruthless at making ruthless actions virtuous. She took your skeletons out the closet and draped Dolce and Gabana on their slender shoulders, making them presentable, even commendable. This is not what grace is, in fact in Mark 4 vs  22  Daddy God says that "We're not keeping secrets, we're telling them; we're not hiding things, we're bringing them out into the open." He said this in relation to light. Jesus the harbringer of grace is the light of the world, and light doesn't conceal it reveals.

Except His not in the business of exposing our flaws. You know how many times I've been in a meeting, with some Holy Spirit filled, fire cracker preacher dishing out word of wisdom and word of knowledge like it's mishai. And I'm just waiting, cowering, expecting him to point one holy finger at me and say "You, you there, Wayne Samuel, on Monday the 13th of April 2015 you were at so so and so, with who who and who doing what what and what." And then  filled with guilt and repentance I would cast myself at the Apostles feet crying "Yes! It's true! I'm a sinner, cast me not from thy sight oh most holy one." But it never happens, and it's sort of a bummer on one hand, but on the other it just goes to show us God isn't in the business of convicting us (to the jailhouse of public scorn and ridicule) but convicting us (to an inner exposition of our sin and repentance; metanoia; changing our minds and lives). So no He does not conceal or put a PR spin on our shortcomings, neither does he expose the cracks in our walls, rather he exposes us to the solution.

When you have a scandal-blood on your hands that everyone sees, or blood under your fingernails that only those closest to you are aware of, you're bound to feel some guilt. Only the truly deplorable, the Hitlers of the world will not feel guilt when exposed to mass disapproval. But to the regular Joe's like you and I , its a default response.You swear you're not just sorry because you got caught, and that may be true, but repentance, like faith, is an action word. You're not truly repentant till you do something about it (even something as minimal as attesting to the fact that you shouldn't have/be doing it). So yes you're not just sorry you got caught, you were sorry even before anyone knew about it, but the only reason you're all pious about it now is because like John Legend sang "Everybody knows". And no, guilt is always the wrong way to go. Guilt focuses on the problem and avoids the solution, conviction admits the problem but centers itself on the solution: which is to look away from self and onto the cross.

I learnt this weekend that integrity isn't being honestly perfect but perfectly honest. It is to admit to your shortcomings, to give everyone a heads up that if they went probing into your closet, they'd see a few dry bones there. It is admitting that you are working on getting them all out and you'll need all the help you can get. It is honesty to yourself, to God and to everyone else that look, if you knew what goes on in my head sometimes, if you knew what went on in my life sometimes, a lot of you wouldn't want me writing anything even touching the subject matter of God.

In the end like David in Psalms 40 I'm crouching here to write  that; Now God, don't hold out on me, don't hold back your passion.Your love and truth are all that keeps me together. When troubles ganged up on me,a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn't see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. Soften up, God, and intervene; hurry and get me some help. Whether you're reading this from the past, present or present continuous tense, that should have, should and should be you're prayer when faced with a scandal, not the overly arrogant and grossly inaccurate "It's handled." Of Olivia Pope.